Yeah, I just got done playing Sonic the Hedgehog for the Xbox 360 (yes, that one. The really bad game) on a bet, and I've really got to say, this is one of the most boring, slow, lame, and frustrating games I have ever played. I feel a sense of accomplishment and of shame for playing this game.
Here are five fuckin' things that should have been improved.

Number 5. Fix the goddamn stage design.

When I'm talking about the stage design one big thing that needs to be mentioned is that half the time I don't even know where the fuck I'm going. Another problem is that the stages are brutally unfair, there are pitfalls all over the place, and during a Sonic Mach speed stage if you miss the goal ring... You're fucked... Try again... Also the Hub worlds are way too big, you only truly begin to notice that they are too big when you start to play as Silver. I want to go back to Station Square and the Mystic Ruins, Those places are also far more fun to travel around in.

Number 4. The realism's a problem

Sonic 06 actually tries to bring the art style into a new direction with more realistic looking robots, Physics, and more realistic human model even Eggman looks different because of this new style. Now, one of the problems with the robots is when you defeat them, they scatter into tons of Pieces, and if you manage to destroy a lot of them in a short amount of time, the Frame rate for the game plummets faster then Sonic trying to swim. Also when you're playing as Silver you'll have an even harder time finding objects to throw at enemies with all this damn derbies. What was wrong with the robot just exploding and it's all gone in less then a second? Now, with the physics, the problem is that the physics are fucking horrible. You jump like you're on the goddamn moon, If you take a hit and lose your rings they spread out a lot more, sometimes when you’re trying to get your rings back you don’t pick them up immediately they just spread a bit before you can pick them up, and if you're trying to do simple platforming your jump is absolutely dependent on your speed, meaning that you can't speed up in the air like any other platforming game or any other sonic game.

Number 3. The Camera

I think one of the reasons I wasn't able to figure out where the fuck to go was due to the crippled camera controls. These Camera controls are absolutely horrible I have never had more trouble trying to keep the camera focused of the action around me. And during some boss fights it gets just insane... Like Iblis for example.

Number 2. The characters themselves

Ok, lets start with the blue guy Sonic.
So, What’s different about him? Well for starters he’s slow as fuck… Yeah, sonic is slow. Reminds me of Sonic Labyrinth, that game sucked too. What else? Ah, looks like sonic actually can run fast, but when he does, the controls become fucked beyond belief. It’s not to bad when you try the first stage, but as you get to the end of his episode they become nearly impossible. Whatever you do, do not try to jump when in mach speed, you’ll just kill yourself. Ah, you also can’t kill enemies by jumping on them… Wait what!? Yes that’s right if you just touch an enemy while jumping you’ll take a hit, everything has to be killed by a homing attack. Also don’t hit a wall, you’ll just plain stop… It’s rather annoying…

Your turn Tails
Ok, so Tails can’t really control his flight patterns like he used to, oh and he doesn’t believe in physically engaging the enemy anymore, instead he likes to throw these things called Ring Bombs that explode into like 5 or 10 rings and those rings kill the enemies… That’s retarded, for two reasons… One, WHY FUCKIN’ RINGS!? YOU CAN’T COLLECT THESE RINGS IT’S JUST FUCKING CONFUSING AND IT’S BULLSHIT! Uh, two, you can’t really aim it to well so you’re natural instinct would be to just spam the fuck out of everyone with these ring bombs spreading more debris and causing more slowdown due to the shitty frame rate… Damn Tails, what the fuck happened?

Oh shit… Now it’s Knuckles turn…
Knuckles has borderline broken game play his punches have some of the worst hit detection I’ve ever seen and all of his aerial attacks have some of the most fucked up physics I have ever seen. I can’t even explain anymore on Knuckles… Oh wait yes I can, if you glide onto a wall, good luck getting of the wall. Knuckles and Rouge just love to stay on that fuckin’ thing forever.

Oh goodie… My favorite character Shadow, lets see how Sega Fucked you up too.
Shadow’s controls are really not as bad as I thought they would be but his stages are hard as hell. The vehicles need a lot more work, I really wish they were optional. Particularly the hover car… This thing is a piece of shit man… because of this goddamn hover thing Kingdom Valley is a fuckin’ Nightmare, also combined with the piss poor camera and you’ve got at least 2 gameovers. Thanks to the camera there, you can’t see shit and falling towers will kill you instantly. Also Shadow’s Homing attack sucks, SEGA decided to add some attacking animations to shadow homing attack, sometimes these attacks don’t even fucking hit the enemies, and it takes forever to just kill a room full of enemies because shadow’s Homing attack is actually a lot slower then Sonics.

The whore of the series Rouge.
Same as Knuckles, only thing is that she doesn’t attack her enemies either, she’s got these little bombs like Tails, only real difference is that Rouge’s are a lot better… Unless she’s on a wall. But you can actually am these things. Yay! Rouge still sucks though….

Omega 123... *sigh*
What the fuck happened to your voice? Who thought that this voice recording was good? It’s embarrassingly bad, I know he’s a fuckin’ robot, but he sounds retarded… Literally… So what else? Well, his attacks suck and he’s a big target. He’s a pile of shit that makes too much noise when he moves, next fuckin’ character.

Oh hello Silver. Are you going to be another huge pile of shit like everyone else?
Oh, you are. Not only do your attacks barely work but your plat forming is shit too, mostly because of that damn Telekinesis bar. Now, the problem is that I didn’t really pay attention to the bottom of the screen to see that damn bar. Why couldn’t it be at the top of the screen or something? Well, this bar determines everything with Silver, your attacks and plat forming, yeah, I know, that’s really it. Now, half the time Silver’s powers don’t fucking work. I’m dead serious, when you’re getting shot at by robots sometimes Silver wont grab the missiles they shoot at him, and it’s not because he has a lack of power bar. I really wish Silver’s bar just refilled whenever he touched the ground, you know what I mean, like refilled instantly, then the Platforming would actually be pretty good and pretty fast. Oh, Silver’s levels are fuckin’ huge, and I won’t spoil the nightmare that is Silver’s Desert stage. Took me 30 minutes to beat that one….

Sup Blaze
Holy shit… Blaze is the best character in this whole game, She has a working Homing attack, a good ground attack, is faster then Sonic, and a double jump… Wow. She’s awesome. Too bad you play her twice… I hate you SEGA… God damnit she doesn’t even show up in the last episode. Fuck this game.

Amy Rose… You’re a ninja?
Yeah, Amy… for whatever reason has the power to turn invisible…. Makes a lot of fuckin’ sense doesn’t it? Oh, and her hammer sucks. No range will do that.

Number 1.

The Load times
This is seriously one of the most boring fuckin’ games I’ve ever played. Why? Well, no matter what you do everything has a loading screen…. I mean everything. And each loading screen lasts about 5 to 15 seconds… Wow… Really? That’s un fuckin’ believable. If you want to understand how long that is multiply 15 seconds by at least 60. That sounds like a fair amount of time you’d spend playing this game.

Now I’m sure I’ve skipped over a lot of other things that plagued this horrible game, but I just need to get this game out of my head. It was really this bad… I had to write a review in the form of a rant about it…. That’s just how lonely I am. Who else would do this shit?
I’m sure I wasn’t very constructive, but I guess I had fun writing this thing.
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